He said she said, and my sources told me...
"You Gotta Be Kidding!"
by Mickey Charles, CEO Sports Network
Tiger Woods had his much-anticipated press conference and the obvious questions
were asked, albeit with some trepidation. Others strayed from the lascivious
and medical to embrace the reality of the moment...golf. It was a welcome
relief, unlike Vanity Fair trying to be the National Enquirer for the month.
Woods was candid, spoke with authority, and had as much of a handle and grasp
of the expected as he has on his golf clubs, and will have at the first tee on
Vanity Fair concerned itself with one thing, and one thing only, just like
every other publication...how many issues do we have to print, how many will be
sold, how much will we make? All tied together into that "one thing." Everyone
is claiming to have had a session of sorts with Tiger Woods. As of last count,
six women in my neighborhood have come forth, and two of our administrative
staff are considering the end results - interviews, photos in magazines and
newspapers, some TV appearances, radio interviews, maybe even a book.
Well, my sources tell me that their sources are wrong and that what her sources
told his sources which they heard from the person granted anonymity has denied
all else by the others.
Woods was heralded as a paragon of morality and family virtues...the ideal
superstar with the perfect family and recipient of the rewards that come with
being an American Idol. A multi-million dollar smile, clean-cut, Stanford
grad, possessed of enviable talent on the fairways and greens and enough income
to make loans to third-world countries. Then, the sources came out of the
woodwork, the opinions of people with PhDs but sorely lacking in common sense
and actual experiences, journalist hacks (not all, but many) who thrive on the
"public's right to know" which is an absolute incomprehensible and ludicrous
claim to voyeurism for the numb and torpid that lead vacuous and unimaginative
lives. A tireless and indistinct existence will do that to the folks who seize
upon these commentaries, no matter how fraught they are with nonsense.
Tiger Woods makes his 2010 debut at this week's Masters Tournament.
There is some insane pleasure derived from seeing the mighty fall. It comes
with most mentalities. Why? Because they are not there and never will be.
This is the week of The Masters and Tiger will be Tiger. The magic in his
mind, body and intensity will focus as one and come to bear on just one
goal...winning. He might, he might not. He figures to be up there among the
leaders. I cannot imagine Michael Jordan stepping out on the hardwoods of a
basketball court right now, years after retiring, and, with just an hour or so
of warming up (maybe less) not being able to hit one jump-shot after another
from around the arc. Once Woods strikes that ball on the first tee and it
sails down the fairway, about 290 yards away, the tepid applause will grow
No one in that crowd this week is prepared to throw the first stone, nor should
they be. And, some peripatetic and erratic person might, just might, shout
something derisive or manage to hold up a sign with a quote from the Bible.
That is it. There will not be boos, jeers, any silence at all and everyone
there will focus on the game, the players, the best there is, Tiger Woods.
There are no "sources" out there and confidants of his have not betrayed his
reliance on, or belief in, any of them. The women? Some is true, perhaps
much, but all? No one knows, and the stories will take on a life of their own.
Bits and pieces will be put together in an effort to craft a puzzle, a finished
product that tells the tale. The problem is that the pieces do not match, they
all come from different "sources" that are unnamed, unknown and never a
reality, always in a closet somewhere, clandestine ghosts without a name or
even a past.
If you are not aware of Woods' training regimen then you are not able to
comprehend the fact that performance-enhancing drugs are not part of his world.
If you cannot comprehend what he means to the game of golf then you have been
playing stickball and bocce too long while becoming a devotee of curling. If
you must cling to peeking into the windows of his mind through those
interviewed on morning talk shows then you have a serious problem relating to
the world about you. If you are not able to grasp what took place and then
move on, let it go, call it a day, then the Playboy Channel awaits because you
need something desperately and this drama is close to ringing down the final
Elin will not be there at the 18th tee if he is in contention or, possibly, the
predicted winner. It is not, however, outside the realm of possibility that a
nanny or governess, someone close to the family, will be there with his
children. It will signal a first step. A few more tournaments and she will be
there without the crush of journalistic humanity that will take place here with
an appearance by her. Perfect place for her? The Ryder Cup with all the other
wives among a dignified audience abroad in Wales in September. That works.
One notable absentee from this week's event will be Woods' wife Elin.
It is the American way, a ritual practiced since the birth of our
country...raise the mighty, take them down and then resurrect them again, doing
the second stage just to prove it can be done. Buzz Bissinger, who authored
the Vanity Fair piece as a "contributing editor," took the lecherous and
lustful aspects of Woods, recent dalliances, combined what he could dig up from
text messages and claims by "sources" to embark on the sensual and wanton.
Woods had fallen off the pedestal, true, but it will be rebuilt faster than
anyone can imagine. He loves golf, has proven how good he is at it and he will
survive, walking through this year's Masters and jogging through it next year,
at a near full gallop. He is not arrogant. He is confident. He is not beyond
human frailties and errors and just proved that. Now there will be
misconstruction by the Bissingers of the world about everything he, Woods, ever
did or said, seriously or in jest.
To criticize Woods for not breaking bread or having a beer with writers on the
tour in the evening is inane. They are "friends" of his, whose first name and
nicknames he knows, but they are not his friends for dinner nor should they be.
It is definitely possible, and probable, to create the image he did, sincerely
so, whether crafted by himself, IMG or a combination and still be a different
person for varying situations.
The alleged "link" to Anthony Galea, the doctor in Canada, will disappear
faster than the winter snow. What Bissinger ought to do is show up at the gym
where Woods goes in the morning and see if he can keep up with that regimen.
It does not require drugs of any sort. Oh, by the way, I do know and that did
not come from unknown and disreputable, or imagined, sources.
It is going to be one heck of a week in the world of golf...and a more than
interesting balance of the year. The din will die down, the mysterious sources
and their nonsensical drivel will dissipate and disappear. Woods and his wife,
Elin, will put their marriage together and be admired for having been able to
do so while golf returns to normalcy. All that will be missing for awhile will
be some more sponsors to step up. But, in time, they too will come.
And, will those with nothing better to do with their time continue to prey on
You gotta be kidding!