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It goes down worse than Castor Oil!

"You Gotta Be Kidding!"
by Mickey Charles CEO, sportsnetwork.com

Southampton, PA (Sports Network) -- The Giants are in the Super Bowl and that pill is about as easy to swallow as one intended for an entry in the Kentucky Derby but to be taken by a fan of the Eagles of Vikings. Philadelphia has been over-rated all season long with a quarterback that is a clone of Randall Cunningham but unable to hit a receiver in the style of the scampering one and Minnesota is possessed of a Dennis Green offensive plan that makes a sieve look like the greatest thing since Boulder Dam.

Why was anyone surprised at the outcome of these two games?

NFC Championship Trophy Coach Jim Fassel displays winning NFC Trophy.
Now those that were have begun populating the Internet with allegations that the New Yorkers cheated, that they employed the CIA, KGB, Israeli Intelligence and various aspects of chicanery taken right out of James Bond. Big Blue knew the plays that were coming in advance is what is being trumpeted by those who have been relegated to reading about other sports, inaugurations and similar falderal and balderdash. What absolute drivel! The sideline coaches stole the radio signals, interpreted them, quickly came up with a plan to overcome them in milliseconds and then transmitted that information by hand signals to their defensive stalwarts who were waiting to annihilate the quarterback and various other members of the opposition.

Should this be the case then we have the wrong people in Washington deciphering what our alleged enemies are planning on a daily basis, no less that which is foisted upon the government every minute of the day. And, if this did take place, with the Eagles and Vikings aware of it - dream on ye of little faith, then why didn't they complain right then and there, change plays or, alternately, as Sean Connery would have done, send out the wrong plays?

From the Internet this story found its way onto sports talk shows all over the country and, finally, into a Toronto paper, the Globe and Mail, which stipulated that the two teams the Giants defeated in the playoffs have complained to the NFL that the Giants stole radio signals from coaches intended for the Eagles' Donovan McNabb and the Vikings' Daunte Culpepper. Quarterbacks, as you know, have radio devices in their helmets to communicate with the sideline and stealing the information is not allowed under league rules.

Super Bowl week hadn't even arrived and already the nonsense had begun.

Commissioner Paul Tagliabue The Commissioner's Office had no knowledge of any infractions against the Giants.
The report also stated NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue had been notified of this situation and that the league is desperately trying to keep the matter quiet. Reaction from all of the concerned parties could be summed up in one word: Huh?

Joe Banner, chief operating officer of the Eagles, had no comment. Bob Hagan, Vikings director of public relations, said NFL officials informed him no teams have contacted the league and so no investigation is being conducted. Greg Aiello, the NFL's vice president of communications, said, "Nobody has contacted this office. Nobody has made any accusations. There's nothing to it."

Pat Hanlon, the Giants vice president of communications said, "There's nothing to it. It's bull."

By the way, how does this affect the other team's defense when the Giants are able to run up touchdowns faster than a Las Vegas slot machine takes quarters? What might they be stealing then other than the underwear of the secondary?

Let's play this through as the signals are called in code reserved for Apache Indians, its being deciphered instantly by a sidelines coach, a counter attack is put into motion and that plan is relayed to the field where eleven players now set up in precise fashion and defensive alignment to counter the offensive play just called. It also means that Big Blue would have to have had the playbooks of their opponents and memorized every one to set this into motion.

What would have happened to the Giants who were lying in wait when McNabb or Culpepper called an audible at the line of scrimmage? Hysteria. Madness. Frenzy. Panic. Mental spasms accompanied by frenetic scurrying about.

One must wonder how this would have helped Michael Strahan to completely dominate Jon Runyan or Lomas Brown to make Hugh Douglas invisible.

In Philadelphia they can feel the shadow of the World Trade Center on the Liberty Bell. They may not see it but they can sense it. That has always been the case and their one claim to fame just over 20 years ago was Tug McGraw uttering those cherished Brotherly Love words after the final out in their first World Championship Series, "New York City can take this world championship and stick it." He has his fifteen minutes?and so did Philly. Just 90 miles to the south of the Big Apple and, for some, light years away when it comes to sports.

Philadelphia has an inferiority complex the size of Mount Rushmore. They have not won a major sports championship since the Sixers did it in 1983. On the other hand, since that date, New York teams have captured four World Series, three Stanley cups and a Super Bowl in the 1990s with one more pending right now. Gag, ugh, ich, !@#$%^&*()_!! To top it off, the New Jersey Devils kept the Flyers out of the Stanley Cup finals last spring. And, the Knicks are right on the heels of the Sixers this season, a club enjoying their best start in many, many years.

The grudge has turned to resentment, covetousness into downright heartburn and desire into a green-eyed monster. The malcontetedness that is the envy felt by Philadelphia sports fans will reach new heights next Sunday when the Giants capture the big prize. It will go down harder than a Cheese steak laced with red hot peppers. Castor Oil will not erase the taste of that feeling in the pit of Ben Franklin's stomach. If the statue atop City Hall does not melt at the prospect the egos of Philly fans certainly shall.

And, what about next year in the NFC East? You gotta be kidding!!!