By Drew Markol, TSN Contributor - Archive - Email
Nobody asked me, but...
Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - Maybe somebody's story about root canal. Or their trip to the beach.

Other than that, it's hard to think of something duller than hearing about another person's fantasy football team.

Yes, fantasy football is wildly popular. Millions of us play it, living and dying with our teams every week.

But nobody else, besides us, wants to listen to us ramble on and on about what this guy should have done and what that guy didn't do.

So, you ask, why a column about fantasy football? Because, simply, misery loves company regardless of the topic and I have plenty of fantasy misery.

Anybody can write a fantasy preview story in August about which guys to draft and which ones to shy away from.

That's easy and the authors are usually wrong, but that's another story. Pain, though, is universal. And when you're 0-2 like me, getting thumped by your buddies twice before October is even in sight stings.

So, if you're 2-0 or even 1-1, I invite you to stop reading this column now and go about your business. But, before you go, I do hope to my last breath that you lose next week. And the week after, too.

For my brethren with the goose egg still going, let's collectively try and not lose faith or interest.

Man, just think, it was only a few weeks ago when we had our drafts and everything looked good.

This was the year to win some cash and, even better, have some bragging rights. Our league doesn't give out a trophy, but that's no bother. We don't need trophies, we need to be able to crow for six months, that's much better. Ah, but I'm getting way ahead of myself.

The biggest problem, of many, with starting 0-2 in fantasy football is the math.

Unlike the NFL, fantasy players are only concerned with the regular season. Many leagues have a 13-week regular season and then have three weeks worth of playoffs. The final weekend of the NFL's regular season means nothing.

Back to the math. An 0-2 start means you (and me) only have 11 weeks to get back in contention. That's way too little.

In most every league, your team needs to win seven games to have a sniff at making the playoffs. You'd better be at least 7-6 to have a prayer.

Sadly, that fact means we (us) have to go 7-4 the rest of the way just to have a chance. I don't have to tell you, but that leaves so little margin for error it's disturbing.

We (us) can't be done after two weeks, can we? That's just not fair and just not right. I'm not going to cry (in public), but I've been doing plenty of screaming. This just stinks.

Fine, back to reality (sort of). I will make a promise right here. There will be no more fantasy football columns for at least two weeks, maybe three. OK, that was a joke. There will be one next week (another joke).

Who knows when is a better answer. Maybe I'll go on an eight-game winning streak and lead my division around Thanksgiving. And maybe I'll win Powerball twice while on my streak. Judging by my team, I might have a better chance at Powerball.

Still, remember when, and it wasn't that long ago, when fantasy football players were looked upon as total dorks? We kind of had to hide in the shadows and use key words to identify other players.

We also had to listen to those hip sports-radio hosts belittle us about our hobby. Now, those same hipsters on the radio are talking fantasy football and telling us who to put in our lineups. Funny how things change.

It's nice to be out of the shadows, but being 0-2, I kind of feel like crawling back into them. My fellow oh-and-twoers know the pain. Let's not even think about 0-3.

Drew Markol has been a sportswriter and columnist for several newspapers in the Philadelphia area for more than 25 years.

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